Whether Jan from accounting just gave you an earful for stealing her stapler, or you’re pissed that the coffee machine has decided to stop working at the worst possible moment – we’ve all been there. Sometimes life’s hard and everything can just become a bit too much. And while crying is a healthy way to release your emotions, it’s not always the most professional way to express yourself. The only problem is that sometimes your body’s a bit slow getting the memo. It doesn’t care care if you’re being carefully monitored for that promotion, or if you’re trying to portray a positive workplace persona. The only thing it cares about is reacting as dramatically and loudly as possible.
In the past, I’ve had to refrain from collapsing on the board room floor in absolute hysterics. My life wasn’t going as I expected, and I just wanted to give up right then and there. Even though I’m not a highly emotional person, occasionally the stress becomes so overwhelming that it feels beyond my control. However, with time I’ve managed to lift my game and basically order those tears to go away and come back another day. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not good to bottle your emotions – it’s just ideal to know when it’s appropriate to show them.
Prevention is key
Once you start crying, sometimes it’s near impossible to stop. That’s why preventing the tears before they even begin is the best thing you can do for yourself. When you feel that familiar lump forming in your throat, take a deep breath, focus on your breathing, squeeze a random desk object and think about the things that make you happy. If all else fails, I like to chuck a Sound of Music and ‘simply remember my favourite things’ aka puppies, kittens and chocolate.
If you can, remove yourself from the upsetting situation. Head out to lunch, or even go for a quick walk to the bathroom or stationery cupboard. Do anything you can to divert your mind’s attention from its troubles. I know that’s easier said than done, but the more you practice, the easier it will become.
One thing I like to do is ask myself “will any of this matter in two years’ time?” It’s always very reassuring when the answer is no. If you can manage to push through your problems now, you’ll be absolutely fine. As cliché as it sounds, sometimes you have to trudge through the rain to reach the rainbow and the pot of gold at the end.
When the tears start and don’t stop
So you’ve done everything you can to prevent the tears from flowing, but it doesn’t matter because nothing worked and now you’re openly bawling your eyes out in the middle of the damn office. I know how much this sucks, but there are still ways to salvage your professional reputation.
Get out of the office
If nobody has noticed you crying, leave that office ASAP. Take yourself on a little walk, and you’ll feel much better. Exercise is a great way to improve your mood, as your body will release endorphins that produce happiness. In my experience, fresh air and sunshine are also ideal ways to relieve a tear-strained face. If you’re worried people will notice your abrupt exit, you could discreetly inform a colleague you trust or even shoot them a quick message en route to avoid facing them in person.
While you’re out, grab something yummy like a milkshake (my preference is chocolate flavour) and take your sweet time pulling yourself together. My emotional retreat of choice is somewhere relaxing and comforting, such as a nearby park or cafe.
Everyone saw you crying and now you’re embarrassed
Obviously, this isn’t the outcome you wanted, but it’s not the end of the world. At the end of the day your managers and colleagues will understand that everyone has their down days. They too have probably experienced them and sympathise with you more than you realise. I know that when I’m upset I always multiply everything times a thousand, but when other people are upset I never judge.
The next day, walk into the office with your head held high and just let everything go. If your issues have been dealt with, there’s no use dwelling on the past. If you act mature about it, so will everyone else.
