I’m currently at the age where some of my friends are starting to settle down and get hitched (scary, I know). And while I’ve had a blast at most of their weddings, I also understand the amount of blood, sweat and tears that goes into planning one’s big day. Sometimes, it’s very dramatic. Mothers, mothers-in-law, sisters, best friends, cousins, crazy aunts, you name it… they all get involved. And often families are torn apart, friendships are ruined and possessions are smashed. Here are some things I’ve discovered by living vicariously through my friends.

Don’t invite every single person you know

I know this one sucks because I hate offending people. However, weddings are freaking expensive (in case you didn’t already know). It often costs the bride and groom and/or their parents at least $100 per person. That’s why it’s important to ask: have I seen this person in the last year or two? How close are we really? Do I usually associate with them outside of work? I once knew someone who called a bride and asked her why she wasn’t invited to the wedding. WHY? What did she expect the answer to be? I hate your guts? After hearing this, I experienced so much second hand embarrassment that I had to stop what I was doing just to calm the hell down.

Be nice to your maid of honour and bridesmaids

This is important. A few years ago my friend was a bridesmaid to her close friend, and now they don’t even speak. The bridesmaids were even asked to fork out an unbelievable amount of money on absolutely ridiculous things, including the bride’s wedding dress because bridezilla kicked up a stink about not being able to afford it herself. Not to mention my friend also organised and paid for a hen’s night that the bride decided to skip due to “unforeseen circumstances.” I know being a bride can be stressful, but it’s no excuse to turn into a complete monster, people.

Realise your budget might change

A sensible person will always have a wedding budget (unless they’re super rich). But the thing is, when you go wedding shopping you’ll probably find things you absolutely love that you didn’t account for when wedding planning. That’s completely normal, but just don’t go overboard. I for one am a very impulsive buyer who has absolutely no self control, but I’m getting better. I’ve heard so many tales of brides and grooms destroying their budgets, and as you can imagine it’s a very stressful thing. One good idea is to add a certain percentage you’re willing to go over, and stick to that.

Invest in a quality photographer

I know memories and ‘being in the moment’ are the most important things in life. But one day you’ll regret not having enough photos to cherish, or to show your kids and grandkids. Hiring a quality photographer and going out of your way to make that investment is super important. Do your research and ask your friends for recommendations. When my cousin got married, her friend’s little sister volunteered for the job, and let’s just say things didn’t go too well. Just ask the blurry, crooked and questionable looking portrait of her and hubby hanging on the lounge room wall.

You need to remember that your wedding day, while stressful, is also supposed to be amazing. Cherish the moments, stress less and don’t forget the day is about you, your partner and your commitment to one another.